"Танец Маленьких Утят"

8/1/2010

We just finished our last week of classes in Ufa and are heading to Aygir for a week. The week went by quick and most of the classes were pretty laid back except for one class where the teacher has little patience for us lower level students. There are a lot of rude remarks directed at us about how the students in the first and second group understand something and we don’t. I’m glad that I will not have to ever deal with him again in an academic setting. All my other teachers have, of course, been wonderful. I will miss them.

We visited the museum-house of the artist Tulkin on Tuesday, where we were able to see much of the artists works. The guide said that Tulkin usually complete painting in a day.

On Wednesday, Rachel's host family invited some of us over for dinner. They made mountains of food, including an attempt to make American pancakes. Afterwards we sang karaoke, or to be more correct Tom made parodies of some of the songs that were popular when I was in elementary and middle school. After exhausting the English songs we moved on to the few Russian ones, including the Little Duckling Dance (Chicken dance).

I managed to miss the last day of classes and the boat ride down the White River to a rather unpleasant twenty-four hour bug which had me fearful of leaving the vicinity of the toilet. Thankfully, I seem to be mostly recovered except for the stomach ache that the Russian version of ramen noodles gave me last night.

In about an hour our group will be heading to the foothills of the Ural Mountains to spend a week at “camp.” This could go either way, but at least it should be beautiful.

Disclaimer: These are not the views of CLS, American Councils, or the State Department

Mud: Good For the Russian Soul

7.25.2010

Yesterday was another all day excursion and I must say this one went off better than last weeks. It was another early morning but thankfully there was hot water and it did wake me up. We met at second campus at 8:50 am and were piled on to a bus. The guide, Artem, decided to have us play games again for the first thirty minutes before they put on “Meet the Parents,” in English and left us alone. The ride was two and a half hours long and I got very motion sick. It was too hot and Russian roads are not well maintained. We stopped at the camp sight but Artem kept talking, I was about ready to tackle him to get to the moving air outside but he made it unnecessary when five minutes later he finished and I sprinted to the front and out the door. Ten minutes in fresh air and I felt much better.

After the caves last week I was expecting something similarly rural. However, this time there were hundreds of people. Красноусольск (Kracnosolck) is a health spa, similar to what Bath, England was for the ancient Romans. You could smell the sulfur from the water as people covered themselves in the dark mud in hopes of healthier and more beautiful skin.

We walked up to a church that overlooked the sanitarium. It was tiny compared to others I had seen but very beautiful inside and out. Unfortunately, but understandable, we were not allowed to take photos inside the church, in part, I believe, because inside there is a very old icon.

Afterwards some of our group tested out the theory about the health benefits of the water, and others walked around or just hung out. I headed back to the camp ground to eat what I had brought to eat. We had been warned that fish soup would be on the menu so I came well prepared and while everyone else sat in the baking sun eating, those of us who had already eaten spent the time in the shade.

A few of us played Durak (Дурак), a Russian card game, and then BS, an American card game. Afterwards we went to the convent on the property of the sanitarium. The nun there had actually been an English teacher prior to taking her vows and now lived full time at the convent. They gave us tea and sweets and she prayed before and after the meal.

After the convent, we returned to the bus and back to Ufa. On the ride back we watched “Meet the Fockers,” the sequel to “Meet the Parents”. It was a lot better watching it at 21 then at 13.

I walked back from second campus to Inna’s café and ate there. Artem (the boyfriend) was already there when I arrived even though I know Inna had said in his presence, at least three times, that she would be off at 11pm. He threw a hissy fit when she didn’t get off earlier than she was expected to and started calling her from just outside the building and then banging on the wheel of his car. I had to ride home alone with him, which was very uncomfortable considering he kept trying to get me to be on his side in the argument and I kept telling him it wasn’t my fight.

PS. We were in the Russian news again

http://www.mkset.ru/news/kaleidoscope/12617/

Disclaimer: These are not the views of CLS, American Councils, or the State Department

Next Time Warn Us When Our Excursions May Be Life Threatening

7/18/2010

Yesterday was a day that deserves to be put down in writing. It started early; I was up at six thirty in an attempt to get a warm shower, which failed. Around 8:30 am, Artem comes down stairs to tell me Inna is ill and can not come on the excursion with me. I thought that might happen, she had been feeling unwell the day before. Artem drops me off at the second campus and we load the buses. The first hour of the bus trip, the guide, also named Artem, jabbered away on a microphone that did not work properly, so half of what he said was muffled and unintelligible. We arrived at a little store and nearly gave the lady behind the counter a heart attack, apparently you pay for the water and then you choose the bottle. After being completely disgusted in the outhouse, we continued our drive. We got about five minute from the stop and our bus pulled over for mechanical reasons. We stayed in place for about thirty minutes before continuing on our way. The rest of the ride was quiet and uneventful except for having to stop to allow a heard of cows to cross the road.

We continued driving through tiny villages where cows and goats moved as freely as the people through the streets. Two and a half hours, driving time, after we left Ufa, we arrived at the bus stop. There wasn’t a house or person in sight, just a long winding dirt road. Slowly twenty six Americans, their tutors, Artem the guide, Oleg Alexandrovich and Bo made our way down the dirt road.

We arrived at the camp grounds, where we were given mats and sat on the ground waiting for the food to be made. Soup with fish… yum? I don’t know what I was thinking when I pictured our excursion to the caves, I guess I was expecting something like Mammoth Caves in the US, somewhat touristy, with toilets. Oh how wrong I was. I discovered Russia has stinging nettles, unfortunately it was as I was using the toilet in the woods and they met my backside, I itched for hours.

After lunch we prepared for spelunking. Got to love the new fashion statement; bright orange helmets.

We walked along another trail for forty five minutes, crossing logs or jumping rocks to get across the stream. There were wild raspberries along the path, which were a welcome treat in the hot summer sun. When we arrived at the cave, the breeze that greeted us from the mouth was well worth it.

The stairway in looks deceptively easy, but that was only part one. See the log at the bottom, look for the rope. We had to hold on to that rope as we went down a metal ladder and then foot holes cut in to the stone which were slippery and dangerous. I went the whole way down on my knees too frightened to stand. The fear inducing climb down was worth it, as I was greeted with a beautiful cave with ice sculptures created by time.

It was freezing down there, but well worth it. I declined to go on the on your stomach part of the expedition, it was too cold and I was ready to warm up. Return to the entrance was much quicker and easier than going down and I was happy to be warm. The walk back also seemed quicker, probably because we knew where we were going, and the sun had moved so it was not as hot.

Dinner was buckwheat and sausage and afterwards some Americans and most of the Russians participated in the tourist banya. They went in, got really hot from steam and than ran very quickly in to the stream to cool off and then most went back and did it again.

After the banya we returned to the bus and began the journey home. We left the excursion sight at 10:30, we were suppose to be home at nine, we arrived at 12:30 am and I got home and collapsed in bed at 1 am and slept, for ten hours.

Why “Short and Tight” Will Not Be Making Another Appearance On This Trip

We have hit the halfway point of our program, do I dance, or do I pout?

Friday was interesting, but I could have done without the non air-conditioned bus rides from place to place. Anyways, our excursion was a tour of the major religious places in Ufa. We visited two mosques and an Orthodox church. All three, were very beautiful and I was grateful for the opportunity to go inside, because I’ve never been in a Mosque before.

Bashkortostan, the Republic where Ufa is located, is a very multi-ethnic, multi-cultural area. The primary nationalities are Russians, Tatars and Bashkirs, but there are over 30 other nationalities that call this region home each with there own culture and religion. In 2007, Bashkortostan celebrated its 450^th year as a part of Russia.

One of the hardest cultural differences I’ve run up against is how women, under the age of about twenty five, dress. If you haven’t witnessed it before, it’s shocking. Short skirts, tight clothes and heels, and not just any heels, but stilettos. I am impressed women can walk on the uneven surfaces as gracefully as they do. I saw one woman, earlier this week, with a bandage wrapped around her knee still walking in heels. This isn’t just a summer fashion either. When I spent the fall and winter in Petersburg, I saw more ridiculous high heeled, and stiletto boots than I can count. Now the funny thing is that Russian men are very rarely as good looking as the women. I’m not saying there are not good looking Russian men, because there are, but their numbers are not proportional to the good looking women.

A few weeks back, I had to deal with a bus driver who spent the entire ride flirting with me. It was partially my fault since I caught the bus going the wrong direction and so when the bus reached the last bus he wanted to know why I was still on it. I’ve managed to avoid catching the same bus for about three weeks. I was not so lucky last night. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I was not dressed up for a jazz club where a birthday party was being held. This was one of the few times I could have passed for a Russian. I was in a dress that I refer to as “short and tight.” He leered at me… leered, stared and nearly crashed the bus. Why did I have to run into him? I did however, manage to get a free ride out of it. But from now on “short and tight” will remain in my case until I return home.

Disclaimer: These are not the views of CLS, American Councils, or the State Department

"Руси есть веселие пить, не может без того быть"

7.6.2010

So here’s a quick run down of the weekend. Saturday was spent at home studying, as Inna prepared several different dishes for some family friends who were coming over that evening. The friends, a colleague of Artem, and his wife and son, arrived at around about six. Artem grilled shashlik and the two of them proceeded to interrogate me on everything they could think of about America. Six hours later, they finally left and I fell exhausted in to my bed.

The next morning was of course, Fourth of July. So how do twenty eight Americans in the middle of Ural, Russia celebrate the Fourth? By going to a Scottish restaurant, of course. Yes, there is a Scottish style pub in downtown Ufa and we were crammed in to the back porch. I was a big spender, buying my self a nice, juicy steak.

Monday, was interesting, we have a new schedule. Hatifa, who had been out language teacher, left. Raisa, our phonetics teacher, has taken over groups three and four for a mix of language and phonetics and has moved to Hatifa’s time slot. In Raisa’s time slot, is now Russian Culture. Culture class will include learning about history, literature and common stereotypes and whether or not they are true. According to Boris Valereeovich, Russians’ believe, that Americans’ believe, that Russia is covered in snow and ice and that there are bears in the streets. So, admit it, how many people thought that when I said I was going to Russia?

He also told the story of why Vladimir the Wise, chose Eastern Orthodoxy over Islam for the Russian confession. The reason behind his decision lies not with which religion he actually preferred, which was Islam due the ability to have multiply wives, but because Russians love to drink and can’t live without it ("Руси есть веселие пить, не может без того быть") and therefore could not follow Islam.

Today, we visited, the National Museum of the Republic of Bashkortostan. The first half, was led by a gentleman who went over all the different environs that Bashkortostan possesses before we were transferred to a woman who would tell us about the different nationalities who lived in Bashkortostan. Can you say whiplash? You could tell she loved her job but it was like trying to keep up with a tornado. “Turn your attention here, now turn your attention here.” I am physically and linguistically exhausted, I hope this leads to a good night sleep.

Disclaimer: These are not the views of CLS, American Councils, or the State Department

Using a Fan is Dangerous For Your Health

7.1.2010

You would not believe how hot it has been here. Seriously, it’s hot, in the high eighties to mid-nineties. At least if you are outside there is some hope of encountering a breeze, inside would make the devil jealous. When you walk into our classroom you’re hit with a wall of stifling, oppressing heat. I have yet to meet a Russian who believes in fans. Our poor program director had to go beg Washington for the money to buy three fans. So now there are three fans in the rooms we use. They’re there, tempting us with the possibility of moving air… but someone must first convince our Russian professors that using the fans will not kill us.

Both times I’ve been here, in Russia, I’ve run up against Russian belief in what is healthy and what is not. Example: drinking a cold drink, will give you a sore throat. Sitting on the floor, will render a girl infertile and apparently running a fan will aggravate the condition of someone who might not be feeling the best. My group was sitting in out video and press class. One person coughed and the teacher asked if we were too cold and if she should turn off the fan, we said no. A few minutes later another person sneezed and she turned off the fan. And we’re back to square one.

Oh, by the way, my picture ended up on a Russian website from the excursion to Aksakov’s house, they are not very flattering, I fear, but if you’re curious. http://bashinform.ru/news/282337/

Disclaimer: These are not the views of CLS, American Councils, or the State Department

«Утро вечера мудренее»

6.29.2010

Russians have a love affair with food. If you sit down at the table, even if your purpose is just to talk, food is offered and even forced upon you. Russian’s take great pride in being good hosts and they often take it to the extreme.

Both my host mother here, in Ufa, and my host mother from Petersburg, seem to have the same desire to fatten me up. Tatyana, in Petersburg, once told me that women should have a big bust, big hips and a big butt. Irina, my host mother here, has woken me up, after I have fallen asleep, to make me eat.

Today, we went to the house of writer, Aksakov, a contemporary of Gogol. After touring the house we listened to the works of modern poets and writers from Ufa. The tour, I completely understood, the poems were difficult to comprehend. Afterwards we went to walk on a bridge where many newlyweds place pad locks inscribed with their names on to the railings of the bridge, in hopes of a long and happy marriage. They do the same in Petersburg, where, when found, they are quickly cut off.

«Утро вечера мудренее» This is one of my favorite Russian sayings. Morning is wiser than evening. It comes from a Russian fairy-tale where a young girl with the help of her doll must outwit the witch, Baba Yaga. Russian fairytales are much like our own, there is always some lesson to be learned at the end of each tale. Just like in life, there is always a lesson to be learned, at the end of the day. I am off to bed now, because morning is wiser than evening.

Disclaimer: These are not the views of CLS, American Councils, or the State Department

While Driving, Russians have the Self-Preservation Instincts of Lemmings

6/25/2010

It’s hard to believe, I’m a fourth of the way through my time here, and it been a whirlwind. Classes have proven to be difficult but also sufficiently interesting. I’ve learned that there is a difference between Л and Ль. There is a very big difference and it requires me to perform intricate maneuvers with my tongue. I also just spent the evening reading a Russian fairytale out loud to my host family and being corrected at every turn. It’s nice to know they care that I get it right.

Now, I’m going to act like the man on the Starburst commercial, and spot a contradiction. Politeness dictates that when you walk in to a Russian house, you take off your shoes and they present you with slippers of some form. They are very fastidious about the cleanliness of their feet. My host mother made me wash mine last night before bed. Now the contradiction, public toilets are the things out of my worst nightmare. I won’t describe what I have seen, but needless to say I won’t miss it.

Now, to explain the title of my post. If you have been fortunate enough not to experience Russian driving, you are very lucky. I was in the back seat of a car that was very nearly in three accidents in the space of about five minutes. I listened to my host sister curse out the driver of the bus that decided to switch lanes while we were cruising along next to it. By the end of the drive, I was quite literally scared stiff.

This weekend will be spent studying, though I’m sure between my group and my host family, I will have some social life. I promise.

PS: What does one get, when a very tall Russian man sits in a very small Russian car?

One, very squished, Oleg Alexandrovich.

Disclaimer: These are not the views of CLS, American Councils, or the State Department

Ufa, Our Home Away From Home

6/13/2010

After a ten hour, overnight, flight from DC to Moscow, a seven hour layover in Moscow and a two hour flight on s7 airlines (Siberia Airlines), we finally arrived in Ufa, Russia. Even at eleven P.M. the sun was shining like it was noon. We were quickly put in to taxis and sent off to meet our host families. My Russian family is made up of Irina, her husband Valeree, their daughter Inna and Inna’s boyfriend Atem. They have quickly welcomed me into their home.

Yesterday, after a very good night of sleep, I spent several hours at our new campus along with the other CLS participants. There we were bombarded by information in Russian about classes, safety, and cell phones. Our language contract outlines that, we must speak Russian on all campuses, with our host family and on CLS sponsored excursions. We were also promised that we would be so mentally exhausted at the end of the day; sleep would not be a problem. What wasn’t mentioned was that even as I lay in my bed preparing for sleep my thoughts are a jumbled mess of Russian and English.

It is funny how much Russian I’ve lost since I left St. Petersburg in December and how quickly it is coming back. A word will be said around me and I suddenly remember I know that word.

Wish me luck, classes start tomorrow.

6/15/2010

The last two days have been a whirlwind. We have four classes, two per day. On Monday it was video, film, and media and Russian language. Today was phonetics (read, unlearn your bad habits in the Russian language) and grammar. I find it slightly disconcerting when, I believe that grammar will be the class I worry the least about. Thank you, Nina. This program is not designed to change the Russian teaching style to fit American standards, we have to adapt to their way of teaching. It takes some getting use to.

6/18/2010

Wednesday, we were introduced to the Russian interpretation of mini-golf. Mini-golf: small greens and impossible holes. Yesterday, Friday, we went to the theater where we watched Перебор, a play where everyone is cheating on everyone. Though some of the jokes were colloquial, most could be understood, even by us. Today, Erika, Tom and I roamed the city. We discovered this tiny Orthodox Church, which is currently under restoration. Some of the old frescos were still visible, but unfortunately time and lack of care under the Soviet Government has left them in bad shape. Hopefully given time and money, the church will be restored.

Disclaimer: These are not the views of CLS, American Councils, or the State Department

There's No Such Thing As A Free Lunch

The Critical Language Scholarship is a US State Department and American Councils collaboration that sends university students for an eight week intensive language program in a host country. I will be in Ufa, Russia. Ufa... somewhere west of the Urals, east of the Volga... Siberia.

Yesterday, I flew from Tampa into Washington DC for a meet and greet and orientation. This morning's talks began at 8:30 am and ended over twelve hours later. Over sixty students were taking part in the pre-departure orientation, some of us are studying in Ufa, others Kazan and a brave few are heading to Baku, Azerbaijan.

During this orientation we signed a form pledging to speak Russian exclusively, on campus, with our host families, with our peer tutors and on CLS sponsored functions. We were also assured that this endeavor would leave us exhaust at the end of every day.

Tomorrow we leave DC around 4:00 pm and land in Moscow about 10 am Friday morning. After a seven hour layover in Moscow we will continue our journey on Siberia Airlines, and arrive in Ufa about 9:30 pm.

I wish the best of luck to all students participating in the CLS scholarship programs in all languages. I especially send my best wishes to those students traveling to Kazan and Baku, who I have gotten to know over the past twenty-four hours.